To Keep Your Networking Working: What Do You Say When You Talk to Yourself: Part 4

In previous posts, we have looked at gratitude, happiness and serving others and how your self-talk can guide you in these areas.  Also, we have looked at an essential element of your mindset for successful networking.  You must focus on what you can control, which is you and your thoughts.  Do not focus on what you cannot control, which is others.

Part of the control issue is that when we first network with someone there can be a tendency to have a “fixer upper attitude” or “I am here to help.”  While both of these may sound good, they actually can work against you and your goal of building deeper relationships through networking.

They imply to the person on the receiving end of your communication that somehow you are superior and that they are fortunate that you with your knowledge and insights without knowing anything about them can solve their problem.  In your self-talk with others remember that you are not there to fix anyone.  You are in the conversation to discover how to support someone.  There is in the mind of the person receiving the communication a big difference between help and support.

In business coaching in The Woodlands and business coaching in Houston the key to good coaching, in my opinion, is to get to know the other person and then figure out the best way to support them for who they are.  The goal isn’t control so much as to co-create, along with the client, pathways to more successful performance.

In the last post, we talked about focusing on what you can control, your thoughts, words and self-talk.  These will support you in your networking and building deeper relationships.

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Problem or Predicament? | business coaches houston

Over the past few weeks, the coronavirus has changed all of our lives significantly.  We have never seen something like this.  The medical impact can be frightening.  And the economic impact, remains to be seen, but it could be disastrous.

Instead of writing about personal development, self-improvement, personal growth and leadership which are areas in which I collaborate with others in my personal business coaching practice, I believe it is best to share some thoughts that may support you as we go through a time where in many cases, and you can include me, our lives have been turned upside down.  A time where fear and panic, the two horsemen of relationship and societal destruction are running wild.

Problem or predicament?  A problem is something that can be readily solved.  For example, I am thirsty.  That is a problem.  I get a glass of water and the problem is solved.  On the other hand, a predicament is a problem we have to endure.

The last few week, with the outbreak and spread of the coronavirus has created unbelievable predicaments!  And more predicaments are coming our way.  At a time like this, accept what is.  In reality, when faced with the unusual, the exception, the event that no one saw coming, that is all you can do, accept it.

Only when you accept what is, will you understand what you must do to be proactive and to keep your sanity.  Peace of mind may be non-existent at this time.  But, do whatever you can to keep your sanity.  You increase the odds of making better decisions to move you through and beyond current circumstances.

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Extraordinary Times: What You Consume Determines What You Become—The Story of Raynaud III.

The coronavirus pandemic has caused us to look inward and outward in examining our lives.  And, when you do this examination on a foundation of uncertainty it can make you feel worse, not better.  But there is something you can examine.  And, maybe there is some positive action you can take.

As we go through life, we all have appetites that we feel we must satisfy.  It can be recreation, money, love, food, solitude, exercise, etc. So, what are your appetites?  In my personal business coaching, which can involve personal development training, self-improvement training, leadership and personal growth and development coaching, I am always looking for appetites.  What we have an appetite for will guide us to where we spend most of our focus and energy.  And, very often, if we just alter that energy and focus, that appetite some, amazing improvements can take place.

At a time like this with the new and unsettling coronavirus that in many cases is having a catastrophic impact medically and economically, it is a good time to examine our appetites to see what we must modify or eliminate to survive and ultimately thrive.

The following is a true story.

Raynaud III was a 14th century duke in what is now Belgium.  Raynaud was known by his Latin nickname, Crassus, which means fat.

After a violent quarrel, his younger brother Edward led a successful revolt against him.  Edward captured Raynaud but did not kill him.  Instead, he took him to a castle and built a room around him.  Raynaud could regain his title and property as soon as he left the room.  None of the windows and doors were locked or barred.  They were normal sized windows and doors.  The problem was Raynaud’s size.  He couldn’t fit through them.

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What is Okay? What is not Okay? | Tips on Self Improvement

There is something I do know. The two most important concepts for a civil, peaceful society to function are to have a clear definition of “what is okay” and “what is not okay.

In your own life you determine “what is okay” and “what is not okay.”  For society, “What is okay” has laws, customs and guidelines.  “What is not okay” creates its own law, which in truth is the rule of men and their decisions at the moment as to “what is okay,” not law, along with their own special customs and guidelines.  When “what is okay,” is not enforced, then “what is not okay” takes over.  This is when lawlessness becomes the law. Fear sets in.

And people when people see and feel this, they become scared.  They are not themselves.  They will pander to the fear in hopes of pacifying it and that the threat that is causing the fear will go away.  In reality, nothing is being done to curb the source of the fear.  There is no pushback. Without pushback, what is unreasonable becomes reasonable.  And this is dangerous.  As a result, the fear starts to appear in people’s minds to be stronger and more pervasive than it is.

When it comes to fear, everyone’s feelings are valid.  It is how we choose to act on them that can ultimately bring us together or tear us apart.  What happened in Minneapolis to George Floyd is horrible by any standard.  It is inexcusable. What is happening to the rest of the country as a result, is inexcusable.  There is a huge difference, obvious even to the casual observer, between peaceful protests and rioting. The pain and suffering of countless individuals and businesses along with the economic destruction is unwarranted because “what is happening is not okay.”

One of the basic underpinnings of government under the rule of law is to protect us from us.  Government is here for several reasons but one of the big ones is to protect our property rights. When government fails to protect property rights then people feel compelled to take the law into their hands. When that happens, civil society as we know it gets torn apart. Anarchy sets in and society as we know It disintegrates.

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