Timidity: The Fifth Enemy from Within | business coaches houston

In the previous four posts we have looked at the fears that is based on indifference, indecision, doubt and worry. In this post we will look at timidity. And, like the other fears, timidity at times can certainly be appropriate. Yet, when you are overcome with timidity it will keep you from advancing.

As a business coach in The Woodlands and as a business coach in Houston I have seen and experienced timidity. What is timidity? Quite simply, timidity is overly cautious. Timidity or over caution, will keep people on the sidelines when they need to be in the game of business and life.

Interestingly, timidity can hold back talented and nice people. Why? A timid person will not take a risk. They always want to have both feet planted firmly on the ground. If you think about it, when you take a step forward, you get out of balance. Timid people love balance.

Yet, when you are totally in balance, you cannot move. Very often timid people although qualified will not get the promotion or be offered opportunities to advance. Why? Because others see that stepping out or taking a risk makes them uncomfortable.

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How to Build Confidence and Self Esteem | self improvement tips for success

 Do people possessing high self-esteem achieve greater success in life?

You may have heard from many people that they want to increase their self esteem. They believe that once their confidence and self esteem is high, they’ll be able to achieve more and greater successes.

While that’s a valid fact that high self esteem assists you in achieve all you want in your life, the mistake most of the people make is how they think about self-esteem. It’s not a thing to be increased or decreased! Instead, self esteem is the process of esteeming yourself. In other words, the process of boosting your self esteem starts with thinking of how valuable you are and treating yourself the same.

Self Confidence is closely related to self esteem. It is an external behavior that stems from a high self esteem.

Self confidence means believing in yourself that you can be effective in the world, feeling able to handle the challenges of the world to achieve goals.

So, how to build confidence and self esteem?

Here are some ways to do so!

Believe in Yourself: The first step is to believe in yourself. It’s your responsibility to take charge for your own beliefs and self-concept, belief in your talent, abilities, potential and your worth.

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What Causes Networking to Become Not Working- Part 1 | Personal business coach houston

Let’s assume that you are out and about and networking regularly.  What that means is that you consistently attend the same meetings.  That is good.  It is not possible to build deeper relationships without being consistent in your networking.

Yet, things aren’t coming together.  You are spending the time, but you are not getting to have deeper relationships.  As a Personal business coach houston and The Woodlands I have had clients who get frustrated.  In fact, over my career I have become frustrated, too.  I join a group and believe that good things are going to happen, and they don’t.

The first thing you may do is start questioning yourself.  This starts to bring in doubt.  Doubt, if you are broadcasting it, is not fertile ground for building deeper relationships.  Looking at yourself is a good idea, but over the years as a personal development business coach in The Woodlands and as a personal development business coach in Houston, I would start to look first at the groups in which you are involved.

Networking will become not working if you are in groups where the character of the people is suspect.  If you sense a lot of uncertainty when you meet people in a group, it may be that you are sensing something suspect about their character.  You must be around people of good character to build deeper relationships.  Your personal development will be enhanced by their presence.

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What Do You Say When You Talk to Yourself | Personal Development Training houston

Your self-talk, what you say when you talk to yourself, is a key to keeping your networking working.  In the previous post, we looked at ways to improve your self-talk, which in turn, will enhance the possibilities of building deeper relationships through networking.

What I find interesting is what very successful people say to themselves in order to overcome significant challenges. Regardless of where their inspiration comes from which could be a situation, a person or a goal most truly successful people are happy.  That doesn’t mean that they don’t get down or have doubts.  All of us do.  But their self-talk causes them to overcome what is challenging them and in the process of moving beyond the challenge they create happiness.

They understand that success is getting what you want.  Happiness is wanting what you get.  And, that you cannot have true success without happiness.  To keep your networking working and to build deeper relationships you must learn how to be happy.

As a business coach in The Woodlands and as a business coach in Houston, I have observed in myself and others that when our self-talk is focused on the positive things in our lives, more opportunities magically appear.  Why?  When we focus on the positive, we are practicing and showing gratitude.

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What Do You Say When You Talk to Yourself: Part 3 | self improvement tips for success

In the last post, we looked at gratitude, happiness and serving others and how your self-talk can guide you in these areas.  The result of your networking will be to increase the odds of building deeper relationships.

In this post we will go under the hood of self-talk, so to speak and explore the mindset that is necessary to good self-talk which will manifest itself in a positive way to others allowing your networking to accomplish its primary goal, to build deeper relationships.

Probably one of the biggest mistakes I see in networking that will keep it from not working is this:  People focus on what they can’t control instead of what they can control.  A person will meet someone and immediately after they hear a little bit about them and their business, try to “fix them.”  If you have a “fixer upper mentality” in your self-talk which manifests itself in your networking, get rid of it.

Take a sword to it.  No one likes someone coming in with an answer or a solution who truly does not know us or our situation.  In fact, it has been shown that the people who consider themselves to be “fixer uppers” have a degree of arrogance in their self-talk which carries into their networking relationships.

When you come in with the “fixer upper” mentality you are already telling the other person that something is wrong with them and that you, with your superior knowledge and intellect are here to rescue them from themselves.  Obviously, this is a non-starter to good networking and building deeper relationships.

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